DIVISIVE review - You can't divide zero

(Reviewed by Melody Werner)

Divisive is a 2022 nü metal album by one of the worst bands of all time, Disturbed. If you're scoffing at that—it's okay, I used to enjoy them too, and it's never too late to atone for your sins. Jokes aside, Disturbed is one of the first bands I lost any interest in when I started listening to—well, it's mean, but true—actually good bands. David Draiman stops doing it for you when you're instead listening to Dio, Zeal & Ardor, Ghost, High Command, Code Orange, and a billion other bands with vocalists who don't sound like they've got five kumquats caught in their windpipe. And Disturbed is one of those 2000's bands where they rarely, if ever, allow the rest of the band to have solos, so with Draiman sucking ass on the mic, what else is there to this band? Oh yeah, vague lyrics about being against the man or how the world sucks, so everyone can imprint their own politics and worldview onto the band.

Divisive sees an evolution in just how meaningless the band's lyrics can be. What's more meaningless than saying nothing while pretending to say what ever the listener's already thinking? Why, it's a question Disturbed have evidently put a lot of thought into cracking, and they have found a new bottom to the barrel they've been digging in for the past few decades. Why not say nothing while not even pretending to stand for anything, and just say how everyone else sucks for no clear reason, so people can get mad at how we were totally talking about them in particular? I have never felt more bored with someone clearly trying to piss me off.

As per usual with a Disturbed record, the rest of the band barely ever get a chance to shine, and whenever they do, it is short-lived. Which is a shame, as the riffs are the only good thing about this album... when they actually get to do their own thing, rather than having to wither into drab nothingness so Draiman can caterwaul his overwrought caterwaul in the same six ways again. They're not amazing riffs, but they could definitely be built out into something really nice on a, y'know, good album.

Have I mentioned how terrible Draiman is yet? Well, besides his voice only being memorable for how uniquely obnoxious it is, I feel like I've heard every vocal riff he's doing a dozen times before each. Disturbed are a legacy radio act at this point, and there's not really much reason to listen to this unless you went in wanting low-hanging fruit to wail on, or to remind yourself what truly bad music sounds like, or both (like me!). So this is not surprising. Every time Draiman comes onto the microphone in Divisive, it's for too long. Just shut up, Dave, and let everyone else have the stage for more than ten fucking seconds, man!

So, it's spineless auditory torture with pockets of instrumental reprieves, but that's all, right? Well, no. Disturbed somehow manage to always find new ways to be terrible, whether that be their maximalist vomit of their "The Sound of Silence" cover, or allowing Draiman back into the studio, or, in this case, random eugenics on the goddamn opener? Well, it's a Disturbed album, so let me qualify that with "random eugenicist-sounding shit that in truth means nothing, but they clearly want the listener to either think that they're endorsing eugenics and thus said listener must post about how awful it is, or for the listener to think they're endorsing eugenics and thus said listener must post on 16chan about how based a [anti-Semitic slur] David Draiman is." Most folks will ignore it entirely, I'd imagine, but that's kinda worse?

Divisive is a fart of an album. There's nothing special about it, and what few bright spots there are, are quickly subsumed by the samey vocal diarrhea we've heard since the mid-2000's. While, yeah, I'm glad it's a pretty brisk listen (I wanted to hear seconds from this about as much as I want a lightning rod shoved up my ass in the middle of a thunderstorm), it all just makes it a very "in one ear, out the other" listen. Every song is the same story, portentous dribble with no heart or teeth to it, and dessicated vocal puke that is sure to inspire some chain vomiting. But I must ultimately thank Disturbed. I came in wanting a punching bag that I would feel embarrassed for anyone to catch me listening to on Spotify—one that would remind me that I can sniff a bad record when I hear it (that do be how senses work). In that, Divisive succeeds handily. "But in terms of being something you would spin again?," the album creaks as it attempts to wipe the puke stains from its lips. Not today, gremlin. You get a phat 2/10.

Putrid

Summary:

What did you expect from a latter day Disturbed LP?