TATTLETALES review - Dumb, Stupid, and Dumb

 (Reviewed by Melody Werner)

TattleTales is a 2020 album by Brooklyn rapper and proud snitch (not to mention the child abuse), Tekashi 6ix9ine. Released by Create Music Group last month (at time of writing), the obnoxious lil shit's first album (since being released early around April) fell below sales expectations after its main lead single broke records--for the biggest week 2 drop in popularity. Which just goes to show 6ix9ine's lack of staying power--he's a human meme, a despicable troll that has escaped the Internet and now walks the Earth, annoying everyone in the way that trolls do. If it's not obvious enough, I had zero expectations going into TattleTales, and I'll admit, he sure shattered those expectations with this boring, generic, ear-grating tonic for sanity.

The production 6ix9ine and his bevy of producers "treat" us to across this rank record at the very least fits snuggly underneath the generic, trend-chasing rapping by 6ix9ine and his cohort of unfortunate features. While there is the painfully occasional beat (beat, singular) across this overly long torture chamber which sticks out for but a moment, most of the time this album is less entertainment and more a barometer for witnessing the brain rot setting in at real-time. While even this can't be as brutally mind-numbing as Shadow Work, it induces a similar spell of causing me to forget about all of the good rap music I've listened to whenever it's on. The double-edged sword here is the album's forgetability. 6ix9ine's rancid "rapping" (read: screaming horribly) and purgatorial autotuned caterwauling are miserable to hear, but I'm blessed to say that I'm not to gonna ever think of any of it ever again because it's all such bland wallpaper. His basic flows and monotonous, hack-ass lyrics suck so fucking bad, but at least we get a pretty decent Nicki Minaj feature on "TROLLZ." The lyrical content consists of wailing about her fall from grace as the Cardi B's and Megan Thee Stallion's of the world have supplanted her when it comes to "the Kween of Rap," but stacked up against 6ix9ine, it's blatantly obvious of her superior talents as compared to our Skittles lovin' connoisseur. Great sense of flow and personality. Any other features fall prey to sickening production and bland concepts.

TattleTales is unmitigated trash, please do yourself a favor and avoid this tat. You really, really do not need to waste your soul on this garbáge. In fact, you deserve better; maybe go spin Circa91, eh? TattleTales gets a 0.5/10. Don't worry, the next review from me's gonna be another really positive one. It's just, y'know, sometimes ya gotta take out the trash.

Cursed

Summary:

6ix9ine is low hanging fruit, but that's because he is one of the worst mainstream rappers... ever. Unsurprisingly, the best parts of his own album have nothing to do with him.