SHADOW WORK review - Trapt card
(Reviewed by Melody Werner)
I know what you're thinking. "Wow, that album art's hot trash!" You're perceptive like that. And yes, it is hot trash. Thankfully for the art, it is not alone in being hot trash, so it goes on--unmoored from the potential bullying it surely deserves. The instrumentals on Shadow Work are so bland and played so terribly, that I forgot what good rocking sounds like. Luckily, I cleansed my palette immediately after listening to this dooky Trapt decided to take on the world to top off the Hell that 2020 has been, with some noice Thundermother and Reason Define--real rock bands! Who actually play rock music and don't just whine pathetically over trite riffs, with terrible mixing! But honestly, I'm glad that this is so badly mixed, I really didn't want to hear Chris Taylor Brown's atrocious, macho voice anymore than I needed to. Which was, of course, not at all.
As I neared further and further to the blissful cessation of this categorical misfire, I began to realize something--holy shit, this thing's like a monumentally worse version of 2019's In Memory... by Reason Define. But where Reason Define was revealing and Paolina Massaro's gorgeous singing draws you in, Shadow Work is Chris annoyingly pissing and moaning for over 44 and a half minutes. It's dull as dishwater and boring as fuck, where In Memory...'s electric performances kept you enthralled even when it hit you with a weaker moment. This, on the other hand, feels perpetually stuck in stasis, every song is the exact shitting same trashvomit. It's fucking pathetic to think these also-rans were ever a platinum-selling band that were everywhere. But were they ever better than this? Of course not, it's goddamned Trapt. There are no halcyon days with these irrelevant chucklefucks. Here are some bands who mop the floor with Trapt musically, but will never hit the mainstream quite like these ciphers did: Zeal & Ardor. THE FEVER 333. Ghost. Rival Sons. Beyond the Black. Johnny Manchild and The Poor Bastards. Battle Beast. Algiers. Black Sites. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard. Nova Twins. Senses Fail. Bolt Thrower. Creeper. The Conjuring. Honeybadger. Eruption. STRANGELIGHT. Fuck Trapt. All they do on this album is mewl about their righteous irrelevance and how no one listens to their Trumpian politics. Even Limp Bizkit wasn't this laughable or fragile.
Shadow Work's failure is a beautiful sight in these dire days. No one listened to this garbage, even the Trumpers have left Trapt out in the cold. It turns out the "Bernie bitches" at Power Trip (a legitimately good band) had the last laugh. May this dreg heap be what finally kills Trapt's careers. Shadow Work gets a 0/10. Fuck off.
Legendarily broken
Summary:
Shadow Work never once springs its loathsome, po-faced, sanctimonious, and fascist ass to life. I may be a "Bernie bitch" too, but I'll take that over being the no-talent pukers that Trapt consists of any day.
Shadow Work is a 2020 nü metal album by the beloved Trapt. Ever since their genre-defining magnum opus "Headstrong" created an entire subgenre of whiny, wannabe-tough-guy butt rock, they have saw fit to bless us with more of their "music." As I'm sure we all know, I put the scare quotes there because to label Trapt as "music" does Trapt such a disservice--for they are greater than music. Their body of work (shadow work) represents the zenith of... all art. Sorry, Jane Eyre, but you can't contest "HEADSTRONG, I'LL TAKE YOU ON/HEADSTRONG TO TAKE ON ANYONE." I'm sure you'll understand. I come to you, dear reader, teary-eyed and astonished, as I always am within the first twelve seconds of any Trapt album--BWAHAHAHAHA! I can't keep that bit up. Look, this album's dogshit and Trapt is the worst band out there. Period.
I know what you're thinking. "Wow, that album art's hot trash!" You're perceptive like that. And yes, it is hot trash. Thankfully for the art, it is not alone in being hot trash, so it goes on--unmoored from the potential bullying it surely deserves. The instrumentals on Shadow Work are so bland and played so terribly, that I forgot what good rocking sounds like. Luckily, I cleansed my palette immediately after listening to this dooky Trapt decided to take on the world to top off the Hell that 2020 has been, with some noice Thundermother and Reason Define--real rock bands! Who actually play rock music and don't just whine pathetically over trite riffs, with terrible mixing! But honestly, I'm glad that this is so badly mixed, I really didn't want to hear Chris Taylor Brown's atrocious, macho voice anymore than I needed to. Which was, of course, not at all.
As I neared further and further to the blissful cessation of this categorical misfire, I began to realize something--holy shit, this thing's like a monumentally worse version of 2019's In Memory... by Reason Define. But where Reason Define was revealing and Paolina Massaro's gorgeous singing draws you in, Shadow Work is Chris annoyingly pissing and moaning for over 44 and a half minutes. It's dull as dishwater and boring as fuck, where In Memory...'s electric performances kept you enthralled even when it hit you with a weaker moment. This, on the other hand, feels perpetually stuck in stasis, every song is the exact shitting same trashvomit. It's fucking pathetic to think these also-rans were ever a platinum-selling band that were everywhere. But were they ever better than this? Of course not, it's goddamned Trapt. There are no halcyon days with these irrelevant chucklefucks. Here are some bands who mop the floor with Trapt musically, but will never hit the mainstream quite like these ciphers did: Zeal & Ardor. THE FEVER 333. Ghost. Rival Sons. Beyond the Black. Johnny Manchild and The Poor Bastards. Battle Beast. Algiers. Black Sites. King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard. Nova Twins. Senses Fail. Bolt Thrower. Creeper. The Conjuring. Honeybadger. Eruption. STRANGELIGHT. Fuck Trapt. All they do on this album is mewl about their righteous irrelevance and how no one listens to their Trumpian politics. Even Limp Bizkit wasn't this laughable or fragile.
Shadow Work's failure is a beautiful sight in these dire days. No one listened to this garbage, even the Trumpers have left Trapt out in the cold. It turns out the "Bernie bitches" at Power Trip (a legitimately good band) had the last laugh. May this dreg heap be what finally kills Trapt's careers. Shadow Work gets a 0/10. Fuck off.
Legendarily broken
Summary:
Shadow Work never once springs its loathsome, po-faced, sanctimonious, and fascist ass to life. I may be a "Bernie bitch" too, but I'll take that over being the no-talent pukers that Trapt consists of any day.
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