PADDINGTON 1 & 2, INJUSTICE 2, BIG MAN PLANS, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, & MORE QUICKIES

(Reviewed by Melody Werner)
I watch, read, listen to, and play a lot of things I don't review immediately. In an attempt to at least share some of my thoughts on these pieces of media, I'd like to do a few quickies in one post for at least a few weeks. The hope is to expand on these down the road, but for now these should maybe whet your whistle.


PADDINGTON (2014)



DISTRIBUTOR: Studio Canal | DIRECTOR: Paul King
ACTORS: Ben Whishaw, Sally Hawkins, Hugh Bonneville, Nicole Kidman, Madeleine Harris, Samuel Joslin
GENRE: All-ages comedy

Back when Google+ was still a thing (good night, sweet prince), I posted a short joke review of Paddington where all I said was "It's adorable." and gave it a score of 9.5/10. This quickie will be significantly more in-depth than that.

It's adorable.

9.5/10

Must-watch


PADDINGTON 2 (2017)



DISTRIBUTOR: Studio Canal | DIRECTOR: Paul King
ACTORS: Ben Whishaw, Sally Hawkins, Hugh Bonneville, Hugh Grant, Madeleine Harris, Samuel Joslin
GENRE: All-ages comedy

If Paddington 1 was Terminator 1, Paddington 2 is Terminator 2: Judgment Day; a follow-up that not only eclipses its predecessor, but also extends its story in a way that feels natural. Paddington 2 is funnier, more wholesome, and sweeter, while maintaining a balance that never allows for things to become saccharine. I like my grim and gritty just as much as the next guy, but these Paddington flicks have simply been wonderful.

10/10

Master-class



INJUSTICE 2 (2017)



PUBLISHER: WB | DEVELOPER: NetherRealms
PLATFORMS: Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PC | GENRE: 1v1 fighter
(reviewed based on Xbox One version)

I've long been a fan of the Mortal Kombat series, for the better part of my life in fact. And being a comic nerd, a crossover between DC and MK sounds like gangbusters. Now, I haven't played the first Injustice yet, but its sequel is a major disappointment.

While the gameplay is solidly fun and exciting, there are step backs from Mortal Kombat X, which found intuitive ways of solving issues with getting cornered then ramrodded. Injustice 2 lacks these improvements--chiefly the wall-jumping mechanic--which not only got around excessive juggling, but added a greater sense of agility and environmental combat. Then there's the story mode, which is god awful. You'll always get fighting game apologists who'll defend games like this because either "Story doesn't matter, bro, it's a fighting game" or "It's better than the rest." Which are fine positions to take, but not actual arguments that would convince anyone who disagree with their premises. The story is there to be experienced, not to be ignored, so it is up for criticism, and not only have we had way superior fighting game stories in the past--better does not mean good. This story mode is every stale ass "Killing is bad/killing is good" dilemma--which was a problem with the Injustice comics too--but it's even worse than that since this is a nothing story. Nothing happens. No character development, no big character deaths worth mentioning, it's a pure waste of time from start to finish.

Then there's the monetization, which is so abhorrent, so repellant, it burned away every ounce of enjoyment I had otherwise had with IJ2. You have this really shitty lootbox system which requires you be online if you want to trade out the shitty skins you get dumped upon you, because fuck those minnows, amiright? Injustice 2 is emblematic of everything wrong with AAA publishers in this generation. Avaricious beyond reproach, but the dosh sapped from all the whales and dolphins is never used to say, improve working conditions or pay for the people putting their blood, sweat, tears, and life into these shitty "blockbusters." Say what you will about Hollywood being a hive of scum and villainy (which it of course is), but at least Hollywood is a union town where this sort of shit gets you obliterated if you're a major studio treating their talents in this way. All it is there for is to soak up as much gravy from those with enough disposable income and not so much in the way of inhibitions for N O T H I N G. WB has done you no service in letting you purchase skins in this fun bucks economy. All of this content would have been provided out of the box a few generations ago, and back then they would even have a fucking kart racer and character creator.

Injustice 2 may be something I have no intention of ever returning to, but it gets by on the skin of its teeth quality-wise as I don't think it's fair to say that it's a poorly made game when it's more a terrible product deserving of scorn. But would I recommend it? No. 

7/10

Decent



BIG MAN PLANS (2015)



PUBLISHER: Image | WRITERS: Eric Powell, Tim Wiesch | ARTIST: Eric Powell
LETTERER (uncredited): Eric Powell? | ISSUE COUNT: 4 | GENRE: Revenge thriller

Big Man Plans is as brutal as they come, but if that's not something that deters you, I think you'll find that there's more lurking under the surface than just ultra-violence. Make no mistake, I of course love the viscera of BMP, as it's supremely inventive, done in such a caricature that it personally wasn't any more disgusting than intended, and it's used to supplement the revenge story at the heart of this. But if you come for the splatter, you're going to get that and then some, because the execution of this revenge yarn is actually deeper than you'd think and I found it to be genuinely affecting.

9/10

Awesome



CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS: THE FIRST EPIC MOVIE (2017)



DISTRIBUTOR: DreamWorks | DIRECTOR: David Soren
ACTORS: Kevin Hart, Ed Helms, Nick Kroll, Thomas Middleditch
GENRE: 3-D animated superhero comedy

If you can forgive its terrible title, this is a surprisingly lovely adaptation of the beloved Dav Pilkey character. The animation is spectacular and in the places where the film may otherwise have faltered due to lack of having the same raw technical prowess of say Pixar, it fills those voids with sheer aesthetic style which kept me from noticing any issues that may have come from its less than gargantuan budget. But the real star of the show is the excellent humor, which gives a mix of jokes for younger and older viewers. There are a few issues here and there which keep it from being a classic, imo, but when it's on, it's on.

CU:TEM shows that, in spite of recent endeavors such as Home or Trolls, DreamWorks still has the touch when they are genuinely trying to turn out something of quality.

8.5/10

Great


THE PRIVATE EYE (2013-2015)



PUBLISHERS: Panel Syndicate/Image | WRITER: Brian K. Vaughan | ARTIST/LETTERER: Marcos Martín
COLORIST: Muntsa Vincente | ISSUE COUNT: 10 | GENRE: Cyberpunk mystery

BKV never fails to enthrall, and The Private Eye is no exception. A cerebral, satisfying read that feels like a combination of a really good Black Mirror episode and Dick Tracy. Martín drops some wonderfully expressive artwork that is only further elevated by Vincente's vibrant colors. TPE pops right off the page. Self-contained, wraps up with a nice, neat bow. It does get a little annoying towards the end as some Luddite sensibilities surface, though it's not a huge gripe and the resolution leaves things off in a good place. 

10/10

Master-class



DISENCHANTMENT SEASON ONE (2018)



DISTRIBUTOR: Netflix | CREATOR: Matt Groening
ACTORS: Abbi Jacobson, Nat Faxon, Eric André, John DiMaggio, Tress MacNeille
GENRE: 2-D/3-D animated fantasy sitcom

Like literally everyone else on the planet, I've always been a fan of The Simpsons, though I've never been all that into Groening's other baby, Futurama (yet, at least). Disenchantment shares more with Futurama than Simpsons, so if you're looking for an "Is Disenchantment a perfect substitute for Futurama???", you're looking at the wrong guy. But I will tell you that Disenchantment is a fun sitcom that does a good job of keeping you on your toes. Also, nice animation and music. 

8.5/10

Great

Hope this was interesting. Thanks for reading, and sayonara!

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